


Five Times Alpha-17 Called Himself a Grandad and the One Time Jango Did.

by Kittenlzlz



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, M/M, Trolling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27344224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittenlzlz/pseuds/Kittenlzlz
Summary: In a lighter universe, Jango adopted all his clones and made the mistake of telling them "call me what you will as long as you acknowledge me as aliit'alor". Alpha-17 seized the opportunity for all its worth.
Relationships: Alpha-17 & Jango Fett, Alpha-17 & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Arla Fett & Jango Fett, Boba Fett & Jango Fett, Jango Fett/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 74
Kudos: 440





	Five Times Alpha-17 Called Himself a Grandad and the One Time Jango Did.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pretzel_logic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pretzel_logic/gifts).



> Bu'ad - grandchild  
> bu'ad'ika - dearest grandchild (diminuitive)  
> ba'buir - grandparent  
> ori'ba'buir - great (big) grandparent  
> This is a crack fic that started from a throwaway line in pretzel_logic's fic from the Jangobi discord lol.

“Look,” Jango said, gazing out across the sea of his own face staring back at him. “I know my negligence and absence have hurt many of you, but I will do my best to make up for that. You don’t have to trust me as a buir, or even a vod, but trust that I will do my best by you from now on.” He glanced down at the helmet he was twisting in his hands, before turning back to the assembled clones, hoping they would see his sincerity. “You can call me whatever you wish, as long as you acknowledge me as aliit’alor and let me at least try to protect you.” There was silence, but that was as good as he figured he’d get till he did more to earn their trust.

\----1----

Jango was eating in the mess later, when one of the older clones came up to him. A-17, going by designation alpha, he thought as he raised his eyebrows in question at the teenager.

“So,” the teen said, grinning widely. “How’s the food, bu’ad’ika?”

Jango choked.

“Oh no! Having some trouble there, bu’ad of mine? Here, let me help you with that.” Alpha said faux-concern twisting his face and voice as he reached forward to dab at Jango’s chin with a napkin.

“I - No - Why are you calling me that? And stop that!” Jango spluttered in alarm, trying to push away the napkin shoved in his face.

“You said we could call you whatever you want, aliit’alor.” Alpha said, smugness oozing from every pore and his smile growing to a terrifying degree as he leaned further across the table. “Now let your ba’buir help you clean up!”

“You are not my ba’buir!” Jango snapped, standing up. Then froze, realizing the eyes of every clone in the mess hall were on him. Judging how he’d react to this insubordination. He met Alpha’s gaze across the table and got a smirk in return. Jango sat down again, expression thunderous. “You are _not_ my ba’buir.” He said again, doing his best to keep his voice level even as he glared murder at his asshole of a clone.

“Whatever you say, bu’ad’ika.” Alpha returned sweetly, teeth showing.

Jango would bare his own right back, but he stayed still, acutely aware of every clone in the room as Alpha took his time wiping his face. 

“Alllll done. You were so patient, verd’ika, I’m so proud!” The teen announced cheerfully. He tossed the napkin onto the table, hesitated, and then pinched one of Jango’s cheeks hard.

The rest of the cafeteria watched in awe as he leapt away from the table, cackling, quickly pursued by a murderous Jango, a red spot high on one cheek.  
“You’ll have to try harder than that to catch me, bu’ad!”

\----2----

Jango paused in the doorway as he heard voices coming from deeper in his rooms. He kept his steps soft as he inched forward, straining until he could make out the murmurs.

“- so that makes you my ori’ba’buir then?” he heard Boba chirp in a sweet tenor.

“Yes. So you’re not just my vod’ika, you’re my bu’ad as well. My bu’bu’ad to be exact.” Ah, kark. The awful one was here corrupting his child.

“Why can’t I be ba’buir? I’m as old as you!”

“Yeah, but you’re shorter. And I picked it first.”

Jango heard the indignant noise that meant Boba was gearing up to fight one of his much larger and more heavily armed siblings, and quickly made his way into the room, clearing his throat. Boba was red faced with affront, but Alpha ignored him, smirking as Jango came through the doorway.

“Well if it isn’t my second favourite bu’ad.” Sing-songed Alpha mockingly.

“Get out of my rooms.” Jango gritted out, hands itching to reach for his blasters.

“How come he gets to call you bu’ad! I want to be your ba’buir!” Burst out Boba, unwilling to let his complaint go ignored.

“I’m already your buir. You can’t be my ba’buir when you’re my ad.”

“Yeah, listen to your buir, bu’ad. You’d have to go adopt someone yourself.”

“Well then I will!” Boba declared, storming out with an impressively vicious glare given the roundness of his face. Jango reached out a hand to grab the back of his shirt, but Alpha bumped into him just enough he missed his grab. Jango levelled a suspicious glare at the sniggering man. It was, he noted with annoyance, aimed slightly upward. Alpha had - _somehow -_ gained even more inches in his last growth spurt. He didn’t know what the Kaminoans had put in those growth tanks, but it clearly grew bastardity at the same rate as height.

“He is not allowed to adopt anyone yet.” he growled, with as much menace as he could. The bastard didn’t even flinch.

“I don’t know, that sounds like a decision that should be up to your wise and all-knowing grandfather, bu’ad’ika.”

Jango felt no guilt at signing Alpha up for twice as many sparring sessions the next day. He did, however, feel rage upon checking the schedules and finding himself signed up for just as many.

\----3----

There weren’t that many places to find children in the Kamino cloning facilities. This made life rather simple for Boba. Clearly, all he had to do was pick out whichever tubie had the most mandokarla and claim them as his own. He wasn’t quite sure how he’d be able to tell; in his experience tubies mostly babbled excitedly about whatever had happened that day and fell over a lot. Not exactly the traits he’d look for if he wanted them to grow up as tough as buir or ba’buir. Still, he thought as he navigated the shiny white passageways to the nursery rooms, he was sure he’d recognise it when he saw it.

There were a couple other vod’e entertaining the tubies when he entered, but he ignored their confused glances as he marched over to the large soft blankets the youngest of the tubies were gathered on. Their tiny squished faces were all intensely focused on the storyteller in front of them, a clone a batch or two younger than boba. 

“- and then the vod baited the monster, but still the monster wouldn’t attack. It would glare and glare, fierce as blaster fire, but it didn’t touch the vod. Finally the vod dared to touch the fearsome monster, and this time, it was provoked to chase! But the vod came back unharmed, and the monster returned to its den. For the monster wasn’t really a monster, you see - just no vod had been brave enough to get that close and see that before.” The clone paused, eyeing the little faces before him. “Do you think _you’d_ be brave enough to get that close to a monster to check before killing it?”

The tubies bristled before clamouring voices burst out that of course they would! They’d be very brave! Boba eyed the few that took the time to consider it and decided they’d take their squadmates along for backup _just in case_. Strategy was very important for a Mandalorian. His buir had impressed upon him many times that running off alone was a bad idea.

… They were all kind of cute though. As a buir, it’d be his job to teach them not to run off, right? Maybe he could just take all of them. Teach them proper Mandalorian values and all that.

Yeah, that sounded like a good plan.

\--------

“This is _your_ fault. Now I have to convince him to give up his five children.”

“I don’t know, I was just a lad of 16 when I became your ba’buir -”

“Physically yes, but you were barely even eight - no, wait, stop. _You_ are still too young to be my grandfather, and _he’s_ too young to be a buir.”

“You want to tell him that then? He’s going to cry. Then the tubies are going to cry, and it will all be your fault.”

Jango opened his mouth. He looked at where Boba was smugly tucking all of the somewhat confused looking little clones into a nest he’d made atop his bed. He shut his mouth.

\----4----

“...Arla.”

“Jango.”

“...What brings you to kamino?”

“Well, I heard that not only has our aliit expanded quite a bit, but that a ba’buir of ours came out of the woodworks.”

“He’s not our ba’buir,” Jango said, squinting at where she sprawled languidly across his couch. “He’s just -”

“Not our ba’buir!?” Arla cuts him off with a loud, impressively fake gasp. “Of course he’s our ba’buir – I met him and he looks _just_ like you!”

“Arla don’t you kriffing dare start in on this -”

“Not our ba’buir… I can’t believe you talk about our dearest relative like that. I’ll have to tell him about this, you understand. As a good bu’ad should.” She was standing up now, her offended expression struggling to hide the grin creeping out behind it.

“Arla - ”

“Come on, vod’ika, we can’t have this resentment growing anymore.” She opened the door to the hallway, and made a noise of faux-surprise. “Oh look! Ba’buir’s here already.”

“How the hell did you put her up to this?” Jango demanded of Alpha, who was smugly lounging in the doorway.

“Do? I didn’t do anything. I’ve merely introduced myself to my dearest, long lost bu’ad’ika.”

“Yes, and how dare you accuse our ba’buir of such things. Have you no _shame_ , Jango?”

“I - ” Jango stopped and stared at the two of them, both grinning like loth cats staring down a core bred bird. His buir had taught him when to pick his battles. “Kriff both of you. I’m going to take Boba and the babies to run some drills.”

“Such language! In front of your betters! Really Jango, I’m gone a few years and you lose what manners you had.”

“Yes, he definitely could use some corrections. Perhaps on the sparring mat? I’m sure between us we could manage it.”

“The kids will enjoy the show. Hey! Hey Jango! The training rooms aren’t out the window!”

\----5----

Obi-Wan was, to put it lightly, rather confused. Master Nu had requested he remap some planets that had been deleted from the archive, allowing her the time to hunt down the perpetrator. Landing on Kamino, he had expected at best some confusion or perhaps the lack of a common language; at worst, a darksider hide-out or some other nefarious scheme. Instead he had been ushered through white hallways by a tall young man - a clone, like nearly all the residents here seemed to be - who had assured Obi-Wan he wanted to meet his grandchild.

“I’m afraid I need to see, ah, either your progenitor or whoever runs the facility first - but I’m sure I could come back and see you grandchild after, Ser...?”

“Call me Alpha,” replied his guide, his eyes alight with humor and the beginnings of a smirk on the sharp slant of his lips. “And I promise you, you _do_ want to meet my grandchild first.” 

“Alpha, I’m sure you have the best intentions but I find it rather difficult to imagine someone of your age - ” Obi-wan’s protest stopped as they rounded a corner into large open gymnasium of some kind, where a scarred Mandalorian was carefully putting a small bacta-patch on a young clone. The man’s head jerked up, and part of Obi-Wan clinically observed that his was the same face he had seen repeated in the hallways, only older and weathered. Another part could only sigh sadly as the gentle expression on the man’s face melted away into annoyance and confusion.

“Bu’ad’ika~” Sang the clone beside him, and Obi-wan struggled to keep his bewilderment from showing. Surely he couldn't be misremembering mando’a so badly?

“Alpha. _Why_ is a Jedi with you?” the older looking man rumbled, his upper lip curling into the beginning of a snarl.

“He wanted to meet my grandchild, and, benevolent ba’buir that I am, I brought him here.”

“Jedi, why are you here?” The mando asked, this time with a roll of his eyes. Very nice, dark eyes, Obi-Wan thought. They matched the deep brown of his hair.

“Kamino was deleted from our archives, I’m merely here to remap it.” Obi-wan said as politely as he could, unable to keep himself from staring at the older man, who was _apparently_ the aforementioned grandchild. Something about him was teasing at his memory, a distant familiarity he couldn’t dismiss.

“We can give you scans of the planet, if it gets you off faster.” Grunted the man as he stood up. Something about the way he moved in the armor itched at Obi-wan’s brain -

“You’re Jango Fett,” Obi-Wan said slowly, with a contemplative glance between Jango and the clone children. “Rumor had it you stopped taking commissions rather suddenly a few years ago. A few took it to mean you were no longer as sharp on the draw.”

“Well, clearly I didn’t.” Jango drawled, expression tense, clearly wondering if he should risk reaching for his blaster. “We’ll give you the scans for your precious Order, but you’re going to want to leave, jedi.”

“Oh, no.” Said Obi-Wan, smiling. “I think it’s my duty to stay and learn from those who live here as well. For knowledge’s sake, of course.”

\----+1----

“Are you and buir kriffing yet, Obi-wan?” Asked Boba, with no regard whatsoever for the sanctity of mess hall dinner conversation. There was silence, punctuated only by the quiet sound of Jango choking.

“Language.” Obi-Wan rebuked mildly. “Just because your aunt says it doesn’t mean you should.”

“But _are_ you?” demanded Boba. Obi-Wan was silent for a while, glancing between Alpha and Jango.

“Well,” He said at last. “I was perhaps planning to leave this for somewhere more private, but I suppose now is as good a time as any. Alpha, veracopa akaanir ti gar bu'ad?” Obi-Wan's face was perfectly composed but for a slight crinkling in the corner of his eyes. Across from him Arla started cackling, pounding Jango’s back until he was able to breathe again.

“You know, Jango’s a terrible bu’ad, I’m not sure I should let him date someone as nice as you -”

“Alpha!”

“Ba’buir!”

Twin cries rang out in protest, Boba and Jango both with horrified looks on their faces, though Boba’s was quickly turning to delight.

“YOU CALLED HIM BA’BUIR -” Boba screeched, his tiny body launching from his seat, expression filled with gleeful schadenfreude.

“No I didn’t - I said sha’buir! I called him a sha’buir!”

“Oh no Jango, if you can’t even admit I’m your grandfather I couldn’t possibly give such a nice boy like Obi-wan leave to date my terrible grandchild, could I?” Taunted Alpha, a manic grin stretching his face as he sensed victory nearing.

“Yeah, Jango. If you want nice things you have to be polite.” Arla chimed in, terribly smug. A few of the clones who’d turned to watch at Boba’s shout nodded sagely. Jango glared at them all, especially at the laughter Obi-wan was struggling to hide.

“...Ba’buir.” Jango gritted out, to raucous cheers. “What I and Obi-wan do is none of your kriffing business, and if you say no _I will shoot you in the kriffing dick._ ”

“Maybe he could learn some of your manners, Obi-wan.” Alpha replied, self-satisfaction radiating from his very pores. “But yes. Unlike my disrespectful bu’ad, I can be merciful in victory.”

“Thank-you for you blessing then, ba’buir.” Obi-wan said cheerfully, mirth dancing in his eyes.

“Remember though, if you ever get bored, I’m basically him but younger. And a lot more energetic - ”

“ALPHA - ” 

“I’m more flexible too - ”

There wasn’t _quite_ a murder in the cafeteria that day, but only because Alpha was faster than Jango - much to Boba’s dissappointment. Obi-Wan couldn’t quite resist pointing this out to Jango that night. 

Obi-Wan also spent their first night together sleeping on the couch.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! And special thankyou to Wintermittens and SpaceguyLewis for editing this for me! It's been a literal years since I wrote anything fiction so they made the journey a lot smoother. Feel free to talk to me at [kittenlzlz](https://kittenlzlz.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.
> 
> Mando'a  
> Bu'ad - grandchild  
> bu'ad'ika - dearest grandchild (diminuitive)  
> ba'buir - grandparent  
> ori'ba'buir - great (big) grandparent  
> (adding an extra bu or ba denotes another generation, but ori just sounds better, especially if boba already called him ori'vod.)  
> aliit'alor - family head/ family leader  
> Alpha, veracopa akaanir ti gar bu'ad? - Alpha, can I fight beside your grandchild? (as in, can I date/court your grandchild)  
> vod - sibling  
> vod'e - the siblings/ what the clones refer to themselves as  
> tubies - a clone child fresh from a growth tube. Physically 3-6 years old, time-wise 1.5-3 years old.  
> ad - child  
> buir - parent


End file.
